Always Working On It

 
"Love is a choice" I'm pretty sure we've all heard or seen this at some point in our lives and, typically, it's referring to marriage. But......love is a choice in any and all situations.
When a friend unknowing hurts you, choose to love
When a friend knowingly hurts you, choose to love
When someone you know is crazy annoying in your opinion, choose to love
When someone is driving horribly around you, choose to love
When your spouse fails you, choose to love
When someone has gossiped about you, choose to love
When someone you barely know hurts you, choose to love
When someone cheats you, choose to love
When anyone does anything to you that hurts, angers or produces any negative reaction, CHOOSE TO LOVE!

"Love is PATIENT, love is KIND. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." 1 Cor. 13:4-7

We need to be the change we want to see.....don't think for a second that it's ok to treat others poorly just because they might or have. It's not.....it never will be. You change, you love, you be gracious, you turn the other cheek. It's difficult, it's hard, it's a process and will be something you stive towards for the rest of your life but do it.....do the unexpected in today's world. Surprise people <3

TinaMarie

Lesson 1 to 6.

I left the house and thought out loud, “I should change my pants. Meh!” I was just cycling for a hour and assumed it would be fine, since I already had five additional layers to tackle the crisp cold Alberta air.

Lesson one: always listen to your intuition. I should have changed my pants.

On route, I couldn’t help but think of the quote by Frederick Buechner and the last ten years of my life.  At seventeen, I recall reading his words and vomiting in my mouth with disgust.  It seemed impossible to find that exact place, since he outlined, “The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet.” I’ll confess I’ve been looking for that place for a while, countless years actually, and I’ve taken a variety of detours, endured major and minor hiccups, and wrestled through countless “ops that happened” type moments.

Lesson two: find it. I don’t care how long it takes you to get there… Find it!

And then it donned on me…I’ve found it!

Lesson three: an excited cyclist may result in potential injury.

The excitement overtook my spirit and in the quest to conquer the ragging hill ahead, I somehow managed to tangle my yoga pants in my bike chain. For anyone watching, I can ensure you it was a gracious fall, yet never the less I crumbled to the ground.

I found it! Ironically, I awkwardly fell at the same point and miserably tangled myself in my bike chain. But… then I got back up.

Lesson four: get back up.

I don’t care how close you’ve come to finding it, you will fall periodically, yet don’t forget to get back up and fight for that passion. I can acknowledge that I’ve fallen and I’ve literally hit roadblocks that seem impenetrable and far from possible. If it helps, I’ll list a few that outline possible moments of sheer failure. For example, I became a nurse and the day I graduated I said, “This is only temporary.”  I returned to Alberta to restore a broken relationship with my ex-fiancé and it lead to two years of utter silence. I had a seizure and then a few more; consequently, for eight months I was on seizure precautions. Later, I hit a moose, a miracle to be alive, and three weeks later I broke my ankle. Though I always believed there had to be purpose, something more and an even grander reason, in why I was created.

Lesson five: You were created for purpose.

For myself, I can honestly say that I desire to live a life set apart and speak life into the very lives of central Alberta, the nation, and the world.  I hope to lead and inspire others to understand their purpose and their specific call upon their life. Frederick Buechner was right, since he advised, “Listen to your life. See it for the fathomless mystery it is. In the boredom and pain of it, no less than in the excitement and gladness: touch, taste, smell your way to the holy and hidden heart of it, because in the last analysis all moments are key moments, and life itself is grace.”

Lesson six: life is about moments.

Today, I am thankful for the moment to pursue my Masters in Arts in Leadership and Management.  I am beyond blessed to have found a piece of my passion!

If your reading this today, I encourage you to listen to the song that I've linked below. May you FIND it and NEVER give up on your PASSION!

Charlene

Created To Love.

I haven’t written in a while... 

Truthfully, a lot has changed since I last wrote any form of a blog. Allow me to explain….

Recently, I was driving through the mountains. I was surrounded by stretches of vast views from deep valleys to mountain summit peaks. In the midst of the lengthy highway traveled, I continued to think of this re-occurring theme. I could quickly blame it on wedding photographers blitzing social media or entering the typical wedding season, but for some reason I continued to think of the road traveled towards love.  

In the passenger seat was my best friend, she was verbalizing a variety of things as I simply listened. We got out to stretch our legs at one of my favorite stops. When we returned to the vehicle, I suddenly began to speak from a place of boldness and with such authority to my sheer surprise! Thus, this very clear theme emerged: YOU ARE CREATED TO LOVE! 

She is about to get married. That shouldn’t be a surprise to anyone, since our house is full of wedding decor and inspiring ideas on Pintrest is the re-occurring topic of conversation. Truthfully, I secretly check the mailbox each morning to eagerly discover the latest wedding package via UPS. 

The fact is evident: one of my best friend's has found love. But there is a story, like any tale of love, yet this one might be my favorite. 

In September of 2012, I met her. It was a brief encounter, yet in that moment I knew there was purpose in meeting her. I would have never envisioned that a year later, we would be traveling and speaking to hundreds of people together. We spent many hours in a vehicle traveling; as a result we shared a common dream. Truthfully, we didn’t understand love. But, we both confessed that we dreamed of falling in love again. Ironically, we mumbled the phrase, “perfect love drives out fear” (1 John 4:18). We made a vow in the car that we wouldn’t be afraid to love again.

Ironically, a few months later we were 38,000 feet in the air and on route to Europe. A long awaited trip, even a distant dream, was about to become a reality. We didn't expect that projectile vomit would be apart of our on board experience. Isn't that true with most of life? Those unexpected hiccups in the plan we had anticipated or formulated in our mind. Yet, there I humbly cleaned the remains of my best friend's stomach contents. 

The on board flight movie highlighted that love goes beyond the initial likes or attraction and chooses to love the parts of someone that are less than desired. I didn't desire vomit. Yet because I loved her, I happily cleaned such nasty regurgitated food bits, settled her back to her seat, rubbed her back, and prayed for healing upon her body. Why? It's simple, I love her and I'd do anything to ensure she knows that.

Oddly, I think that was the point of the trip. To actually grasp what love is in it's less than desired pieces or even places. We seem to talk or read about love as if it's a foreign concept. Instead, I believe we have made it complicated and impossible. As a result, we have lost those simple and humble moments to choose love. Any psychologist will tell you the basic reality that we learn to love from infancy into adulthood. Hence, it is a choice! 

I scribbled those words down before landing in Venice, Italy. We met up with two guy friends and began the three-week adventure of back packing through Italy and Greece. Near the end of the trip, I snapped a specific photo.  I can still hear the random stranger yelling, “Hey! You better get that photo or I will!” Ironically, I had already captured the moment by digital film and in response I merely giggled. On that day, I knew something changed. I saw him make a choice to love my best friend the way I loved her. Furthermore, I witnessed her willingness to take a risk and love again! 

We returned home and the details all blend together now, yet I am delighted to report that in 54 days they will be married. Lately, I am asked, “do you think they are ready?” My answer is the same, “Yes, because I know they have committed to loving each other.” I’ve watched how are intentional in the way they love each other. They don’t know it, yet they have both inspired me to choose love. Truthfully, they have given me the greatest gift lately, which is learning that my capacity to love is bigger than I ever imagined. Their example has inspired me to learn to love better, love differently than before, love without fear, love even when it seems impossible, love as a form of support, and love because in the end that is all God has ever asked. 

Today, I choose to learn to love again! {1 John 4:18}

Charlene

The Wonderful World Of Facebook

Here it is 2:37 in the morning and I find myself, unfortunately, awake.

It's my own fault really, the two Dr. Peppers and the chocolate I quite enjoyed wasn't the best idea ever. Moderation Tina.....moderation. Anyway, while I'm up I thought I would write.

I'm on a FB break at the moment so instead of jumping on there and killing some time I find myself fighting the urge to do so. I love seeing what my friends and family are up too....and sometimes some of them are even up in the middle of the night with me. It's an excellent way to connect and stay connected with people.

So why am I taking a break from this wonderful world you may ask. Well, there are times when I go on and find myself frustrated or annoyed or possibly angry with the things I read on there. It bothers me how much it actually affects me. I'm a light hearted FB user....meaning I enjoy the lighter side of it. Pictures, status updates, fun links or uplifting ones.....I'm not too much into the more debate or opinion side of it. I know others are and probably enjoy it but that's just not what I signed up for.

Personally, I'm thinking FB is sometimes used for things that may be more appropriate spoken face to face then not. When you're using social media to get across a point you can come across in ways you may not have meant too. For instance, when I'm chatting with a friend she can hear the tone of my voice, see the look(s) on my face and really know what I'm trying to get across. When something I have written online is read each person reading it can perceive it in a completely different way from one another. All depending on how well they know me or the mood in which they are in at the time. There are just way too many factors online that can twist my words without me even knowing it.

Now all that being said just because I don't enjoy some of the aspects of social media doesn't give me the right to tell others to stop what they are doing but I would like to put out there that, with anything in life, we need to be (James 1:19-20) "quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires." Using wisdom and discernment, in my opinion, is crazy important when views or opinions are put online. There is defiantly a time and place to share thoughts and feelings but it may not be right away or on social media. You might want/need to give things a little more thought and then share or discuss in live mode.....face to face. Not everything is entirely appropriate for FB.

I'm hoping this posting will not offend or bother anyone too much. It's just my opinion on FB usage however right or wrong I may be to you. Just keep in mind that we are all so different in our thoughts, feelings, how sensitive we are and things we enjoy. Sometimes it's a good idea to put yourself in another's place before acting. How would I feel if someone did or said this to me....

Wishing you all peace and love and joy, TinaMarie

Did I get it WRONG?

The best is yet to come…wrong.  It’s time to remove the YET from that phrase.

I anticipate my brother cringing as I write the following sentence, but he deserves credit. Over a month ago, he instructed me to stop stating such dreams or ambitions and actually start doing them.  For example, “pick up that guitar and play!” As the weeks have passed, I realize the truth in his blunt observation.  I can justify my excuses or I could actually live such dreams and ambitions with fuller freedom.

So, did I do something wrong?

It was wrong to believe the line, “the best was YET to come….” Instead, the best is actually here. So, what is God asking in how I communicate, how I live, and how I dream in 2015?

Truthfully, it isn’t about me. It isn’t about getting it right or getting it wrong. It isn’t about timing or even if I am ready. It isn’t about…

Just stop the excuses and justifications and start unraveling the truth of Jeremiah 29:11-13. It is about grasping the heart of our heavenly father and fully seeking him.  In the past, I would often focus on verse 11, which highlights the HOPES and DREAMS in this plan called, “life.” But, what does God ask in verse 13? He is simply requesting that I SEEK him.

When I seek God, I actually seek how he has designed me as his daughter. He inspires me to do the things that bring me joy and unexpected peace. Such as traveling and airports; random adventures and road trips; being active and competitive in sports; dancing in the kitchen and singing in the car; sipping tea and warm wool socks; writing while watching people; and laughing with a wide grinned smile. 
  

I made mistakes and I’ve made remarkable changes and choices in 2014. I am far from perfect, as I will always be motivated to learn and grow. Hence, it is my desire in 2015 to understand how I can seek God more.

What does that look like? How will that change my dreams and ambitions?

Insert drum roll, it looks like…I don’t actually know. The most important line is that specific one, so allow me to state the obvious. I don’t fully know. In a year from now, I’ll meet you at Starbucks or Timmy’s or Second Cup or even in my living room and I can tell you what I’ve learned. 

So, stay tuned…

Though what I do know is that the best is here. It is HERE in the moments that form today. 

The waiting is done.  I don’t need to share a fluffy or inspiring new years resolution. Instead, I press into my Heavenly Father and ask, “What are you asking?” And I hear him whisper, “My beautiful daughter, the best is here.”

So, whomever you are that read these words…

I value you being apart of these last few years, the dreams shared, the memories created, the lessons learned, and the tears and laughter exchanged. I’ve been told that I am inspiring, but the truth is you actually inspire me. It is now time to live in the best together and embrace it for all that God intend it to be!

Charlene

Race Unraveled.

Unravel. 

It means to undo. A basic word to describe a desire to investigate, solve, and explain. 

"We plot, we plan, we assume things are going to go a certain way and then they don't and we find ourselves in a new place, a place we haven't been before, a place we never would have imagined on our own. And it was difficult and unexpected and maybe even tragic and yet it opened us up and freed us from the past to see things in a whole new way. Suffering does that…it hurts…but it also creates. How many of the most significant moments in life came not because it all went right, but because it all fell apart? It's strange how there can be art in the agony" (Bell). 

I've said in this year, "the best is yet to come…." 

I'll admit, I haven't always experienced the best. Though, I can acknowledge I've seen pieces and mere fragments of the best in this year. Truthfully, the best has unraveled in ways I didn't anticipate or expect. 

Ironically, my own line of "the best is yet to come" has left me discouraged, even hurt. Then I am reminded that maybe, just maybe, the "best" isn't about me. I've always loved sports and being active, which generated a competitive spirit that would push me to achieve a personal best. Because, the moment I'd cross the finish line, the victory oozing from my being, it was worth it. The victory out weighed the months of training, the thoughts of giving up, and the questions that doubted if it was possible…

And then I stumbled across something I wrote when I was nineteen…

"For so long I have been on this marathon, as each stride I take I run away from a relationship with my father…. Recently in my brokeness, I've run away from a boy who loved me. He had been someone said to be the best and even perfect for me, yet for some reason our strides were never in step with each other. After letting go of him, I ran even harder. I was in peak physical shape and I was convinced that I wouldn't slow down. My broken heart created enough will power to endure countless hills, lengthy valleys, and even weary meanders. Then one of the bystanders from the crowd caught me off guard, as his bold voice yelled, "I AM HERE. I HAVE NEVER LEFT." He continued to explain how he had watched the duration of my marathon, the high and low points of my race. He had been faithful to watch and cheer.  His presence was something I'd never felt before. Then he promised with such declaration, "I SHALL PROVIDE." He reminded me to be patient in endurance and granted such hope to push towards the finish line.  So, I invited my Heavenly Father to run with me and he transformed my stride...." 

Life will unravel... 

But are you inviting those who want the "best" for you to be apart? It isn't about me. It's actually about you…God created us to unravel in his presence. Because he is HERE, he is in the BEST, and even in the BETTER.

So, these are my final questions that I invite you to ask with me.  What if, I just would steady my heart? What if, I just lived life from a place of peace, allowed life to unravel, as I experience the best without personal effort? What if, I just let God reveal his best and eliminate my perception of the best? 

Those questions encompass what I am choosing to do…

For I cannot see what is in front of me, yet I will choose to have a steady heart and peaceful mind that keeps on going; keeps on loving; keeps on forgiving; and keeps on believing…

Charlene