Race Unraveled.

Unravel. 

It means to undo. A basic word to describe a desire to investigate, solve, and explain. 

"We plot, we plan, we assume things are going to go a certain way and then they don't and we find ourselves in a new place, a place we haven't been before, a place we never would have imagined on our own. And it was difficult and unexpected and maybe even tragic and yet it opened us up and freed us from the past to see things in a whole new way. Suffering does that…it hurts…but it also creates. How many of the most significant moments in life came not because it all went right, but because it all fell apart? It's strange how there can be art in the agony" (Bell). 

I've said in this year, "the best is yet to come…." 

I'll admit, I haven't always experienced the best. Though, I can acknowledge I've seen pieces and mere fragments of the best in this year. Truthfully, the best has unraveled in ways I didn't anticipate or expect. 

Ironically, my own line of "the best is yet to come" has left me discouraged, even hurt. Then I am reminded that maybe, just maybe, the "best" isn't about me. I've always loved sports and being active, which generated a competitive spirit that would push me to achieve a personal best. Because, the moment I'd cross the finish line, the victory oozing from my being, it was worth it. The victory out weighed the months of training, the thoughts of giving up, and the questions that doubted if it was possible…

And then I stumbled across something I wrote when I was nineteen…

"For so long I have been on this marathon, as each stride I take I run away from a relationship with my father…. Recently in my brokeness, I've run away from a boy who loved me. He had been someone said to be the best and even perfect for me, yet for some reason our strides were never in step with each other. After letting go of him, I ran even harder. I was in peak physical shape and I was convinced that I wouldn't slow down. My broken heart created enough will power to endure countless hills, lengthy valleys, and even weary meanders. Then one of the bystanders from the crowd caught me off guard, as his bold voice yelled, "I AM HERE. I HAVE NEVER LEFT." He continued to explain how he had watched the duration of my marathon, the high and low points of my race. He had been faithful to watch and cheer.  His presence was something I'd never felt before. Then he promised with such declaration, "I SHALL PROVIDE." He reminded me to be patient in endurance and granted such hope to push towards the finish line.  So, I invited my Heavenly Father to run with me and he transformed my stride...." 

Life will unravel... 

But are you inviting those who want the "best" for you to be apart? It isn't about me. It's actually about you…God created us to unravel in his presence. Because he is HERE, he is in the BEST, and even in the BETTER.

So, these are my final questions that I invite you to ask with me.  What if, I just would steady my heart? What if, I just lived life from a place of peace, allowed life to unravel, as I experience the best without personal effort? What if, I just let God reveal his best and eliminate my perception of the best? 

Those questions encompass what I am choosing to do…

For I cannot see what is in front of me, yet I will choose to have a steady heart and peaceful mind that keeps on going; keeps on loving; keeps on forgiving; and keeps on believing…

Charlene

21: Impossible vs. Possible.

Almost a year ago, I ran a race.  I didn’t train, yet I knew I could run. My upper body strength was non-existent and twenty-one obstacles seemed rather impossible.  My friend reminded me, “we will look back on this day and remind ourselves if completing the Spartan race is possible than _______________________ is possible.”  I crossed the finish line and truthfully you couldn’t wipe that smile off my face.

Post my accident, I had twenty-one physiotherapy appointments to complete. My summer plans of swimming, hiking, and wakeboarding were quickly replaced by hours of physiotherapy and daily exercises. It seemed impossible that the pain of whiplash would disappear from my shoulders and neck. Then I broke my ankle. Suddenly, pain seemed secondary. I realized I could dwell on the impossibility or see the possibility in getting better.  So, what was possible?

I went slip and sliding with an aircast.
I played volleyball with an aircast.
I went tubing down the river with an aircast.
I played ultimate frisbee with an aircast.
I even went biking with an air cast.

At the time, I was told lines such as “your crazy” or “stop being stupid” or “you’ll make it worse.” I can acknowledge the validity to those words, yet what those statements lacked was the hope of possibility. I did such things because I was determined to make it possible!

It’s a miracle that I am alive post hitting 2000 pounds of flesh and fur, so wouldn’t I see the possibility in life?  I discovered that often discouragement is oddly woven with hope. That impossibility is often possible. 

How?

A phase I’ve often stated, “use your words.” Recently, I’ve considered that maybe I need to say, “use your words to grant POSSIBILITY.”  I’ve taken a new job as an adolescent psychiatric nurse.  As I admit children to the unit, I am often amazed at the harsh words spoken over them that has caused such discord and resulted in harmful behavior and even suicidal attempts. I admitted a boy the other day, as he asked, “why the cast?” I chose to use it as an illustration of why we all need to accept help and healing. For example, mine might be physical, yet mental health is just as significant in the healing process.  His response startled me, “people often tell you that you can’t in life, but they don’t know what you can…” Such wisdom from an eleven year old, since he, like countless others, has been told all his life “you can’t do this, you can’t do that, you can’t….” Those phrases have granted disappointment. Instead, what if someone told him, “you can or it’s possible!” A phase of possibility highlights that you can get better, you can accept help, and you can use your words appropriately.

The pivotal factor between hope and disappointment and between what seems impossible and what is possible has been changing my thought patterns. It requires that I remove three little letters, n-o-t, and simply state, “I can.”  Furthermore, be bold and blunt by stating, “__________is possible.”

This Sunday, I will run a race. I am highly underprepared. I will be running twenty-one kilometers with a recent broken ankle. Furthermore, I will be against impossible and extremely muddy obstacles, which will require intense shoulder strength. Then I am reminded that the Spartan race was possible, so Tough Mudder is also possible. I look forward to crossing the finish line with my teammates and smiling from ear to ear because it was possible! 

Charlene

P.S. I’ll probably even do a victory dance, as I celebrate possibility!