Race Unraveled.

Unravel. 

It means to undo. A basic word to describe a desire to investigate, solve, and explain. 

"We plot, we plan, we assume things are going to go a certain way and then they don't and we find ourselves in a new place, a place we haven't been before, a place we never would have imagined on our own. And it was difficult and unexpected and maybe even tragic and yet it opened us up and freed us from the past to see things in a whole new way. Suffering does that…it hurts…but it also creates. How many of the most significant moments in life came not because it all went right, but because it all fell apart? It's strange how there can be art in the agony" (Bell). 

I've said in this year, "the best is yet to come…." 

I'll admit, I haven't always experienced the best. Though, I can acknowledge I've seen pieces and mere fragments of the best in this year. Truthfully, the best has unraveled in ways I didn't anticipate or expect. 

Ironically, my own line of "the best is yet to come" has left me discouraged, even hurt. Then I am reminded that maybe, just maybe, the "best" isn't about me. I've always loved sports and being active, which generated a competitive spirit that would push me to achieve a personal best. Because, the moment I'd cross the finish line, the victory oozing from my being, it was worth it. The victory out weighed the months of training, the thoughts of giving up, and the questions that doubted if it was possible…

And then I stumbled across something I wrote when I was nineteen…

"For so long I have been on this marathon, as each stride I take I run away from a relationship with my father…. Recently in my brokeness, I've run away from a boy who loved me. He had been someone said to be the best and even perfect for me, yet for some reason our strides were never in step with each other. After letting go of him, I ran even harder. I was in peak physical shape and I was convinced that I wouldn't slow down. My broken heart created enough will power to endure countless hills, lengthy valleys, and even weary meanders. Then one of the bystanders from the crowd caught me off guard, as his bold voice yelled, "I AM HERE. I HAVE NEVER LEFT." He continued to explain how he had watched the duration of my marathon, the high and low points of my race. He had been faithful to watch and cheer.  His presence was something I'd never felt before. Then he promised with such declaration, "I SHALL PROVIDE." He reminded me to be patient in endurance and granted such hope to push towards the finish line.  So, I invited my Heavenly Father to run with me and he transformed my stride...." 

Life will unravel... 

But are you inviting those who want the "best" for you to be apart? It isn't about me. It's actually about you…God created us to unravel in his presence. Because he is HERE, he is in the BEST, and even in the BETTER.

So, these are my final questions that I invite you to ask with me.  What if, I just would steady my heart? What if, I just lived life from a place of peace, allowed life to unravel, as I experience the best without personal effort? What if, I just let God reveal his best and eliminate my perception of the best? 

Those questions encompass what I am choosing to do…

For I cannot see what is in front of me, yet I will choose to have a steady heart and peaceful mind that keeps on going; keeps on loving; keeps on forgiving; and keeps on believing…

Charlene

Keep Calm and Carry On

I never liked this quote to be honest.

It annoyed me.  I think mostly because it became such a trending quote.  On everyone's pinterests, bumper stickers and pendants from here to tim-buk-tu.

I read a blogpost a few days ago, the topic was mantras.  What is a mantra you may be asking yourself?
It is: an often repeated word, formula, or phrase, often a truism(a self-evident, obvious truth)
I don't remember what else the blog said, but what did catch my attention was that it asked the reader to find a mantra for themselves.

For whatever reason keep calm and carry on was what came to mind.
I found it bizarre that this was the phrase that leapt forward into my mind.  Like it had been sheepishly hiding itself just waiting for this exact moment to spring forth with excitement that I was looking for just the right words to say to myself.

Keep calm and carry on.
Keep calm and carry on.
Keep calm and carry on.

Have peace and self control.  Be humble and gentle.  Be patient.  Stop for a moment.  Breathe.  Don't rest on this.  Don't overthink this.  Don't be irrational.  Let go.  Move along.  Carry on.
All these words and phrases sum up this little phrase I'd for so long despised.  Yet after repeating it, over and over, I realized how much this phrase could and did mean to me.

I long to live my life with peace and self control.  To walk every day, every moment in the fruits of the spirit. I don't want to become irrational in any situation, I don't want to be stuck in a moment of anger or frustration.  I want to be humble and gentle.  Soft spoken and loving with my words and my thoughts.  I want to breathe in and take a moment to gain clarity in a situation.  I want to be discerning, I want the Holy Spirit to lead.  I want to let go of the negativity that so wants to creep it's ugly way in and take over. I want to keep calm and carry on.

I find myself repeating this little phrase now.  Even when I'm not in a situation that needs it's use.  I think in doing this I am setting myself up for a more than likely positive situation next time I find myself in a negative situation.  I am already creating a habit.  I am already walking in that peace, self control, humbleness, gentless, kindness, love and power.  So when I come head on with a situation that I might have otherwise reacted to in not such a lovely manner, I think I'll already be walking into this situation with a calm to just carry on :)

Do you have a mantra?

I challenge you to find one today.  It could be a word, a phrase, a bible verse.

Maybe you need it to remind yourself you are significant and beautiful.
Maybe you need it to walk with bravery and courage.
Or maybe like me you just want to have more peace and self control in every day situations.

I have a few words and phrases that I like to say to myself.  You can have as many as you'd like/need.
If you're not sure where to begin...Ask God to show you.  He will :)

Love and blessings,

Christy Creative Dreamer Dawn

Because He Loves Me Devo

Comparison steals joy!

Comparison steals joy.

Did you hear that?  Comparison steals joy, among other things.

It begins with little remarks, little jabs at yourself, that at first seem so harmless.

It may even appear that you are humble.  That you are just praising someone else's

strengths.  Yet you are subtly discrediting yourself.

Remarks like...

"She/He is way better at ______ than me."

"I am not pretty like ______."

"I don't have the qualifications like ______."

"I can't do ________."

 "She/He has more of _______ than me."

Add in whatever word(s) applies, but you see how these little snippets can tear down?!?!

There is no encouragement in it, for yourself or the person you think you are praising.

It doesn't build someone up to have you torn down in the process.

It doesn't comfort someone to have you point out all their strengths whilst you indirectly point out all your weaknesses.

Every comparison breaks you down a little.  Every comparison makes you pull back a little more.

Every comparison IS A LIE!!!

A lie from the enemy, a lie to keep you trapped, to keep you chained, to make you feel worth less, to make you feel invaluable and useless.

And in the comparison(LIES) you lose...Joy. Peace. Trust. Strength. Courage. Freedom. Uniqueness.  You lose you.

You have been created for a purpose that ONLY you, yes, only you can fulfill.

You have been created uniquely to be you and you alone. 

You have been created to SHINE. 

You have been created for GREATNESS.

But if you want what everyone else has and to be who everyone else is, how will the world experience and see you?

I read this wonderful quote from Marianne Williamson (usually misinterpreted to have been a quote from Nelson Mandela):

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

This quote has really stuck with me for some reason.  Maybe because I too have compared myself.  I too have stepped back to let others shine.  I have shyed away from being to great, to talented, to fabulous, to ______! 

But I realized, I want the world to experience me.  The me, God purposefully and intricately created.  He made me the way I am for a reason.  He is within me and wants to shine all the creativity, beauty and goodness HE IS through me.  I am like him, why would I want to hide His creative, beautiful, good, fabulous, talented, brilliant daughter from the world.  Why would I want to be like someone else that is showing the other creative, beautiful, great attributes of our Heavenly Father? 

God didn't intend for anyone of us to be a replica of another.  What a bore that would be to have us all be the same as the last.  What good would that accomplish? 

I am rambling now, LOL ;)

I hope you understand though, you are you...you are uniquely and perfectly you. 

Don't let comparison steal away the you God created.  Don't let it take away your joy.

Instead, be proud, shameless, free, joyful, fearless, brilliant, worthy, creative, bold,  courageous and live your life out loud as YOU! 

Cuz no one else can do it ;)

Love,

Christy Creative Dreamer Dawn

p.s, I didn't want to add creative dreamer to my middle name for this blog(in the beginning), but that IS what I am and I am no longer afraid to declare that in my life, among other fabulous truths ;)  What truths will you begin to declare and live out loud in your life? 

Love Came Down - Kari Jobe

If you need a little God time today, put on this song and praise our wonderful
heavenly father who pours his love upon us.....lyrics below if needed ;)
Xo TinaMarie



If my heart is overwhelmed
And i cannot hear your voice
I hold on to what is true
Though i cannot see

If the storms of life they come
And the road ahead gets steep
I will lift these hands in faith
I will believe

I'll remind myself
Of all that you've done
And the life i have
Because of your son

Love came down and rescued me
Love came down and set me free
I am yours
Lord i'm forever yours
Mountains high or valley low
I sing out and remind my soul
I am yours
I am forever yours

When my heart is filled with hope
Every promise comes my way
When i feel your hands of grace
Rest upon me

Staying desperate for you, god
Staying humble at your feet
I will lift these hands in praise
I will believe

I'll remind myself
Of all that you've done
And the life i have
Because of your son

Love came down and rescued me
Love came down and set me free
I am yours
I am forever yours
Mountains high or valley low
I sing out and remind my soul
I am yours
I am forever yours

I am yours
I am yours
All my days
Jesus, i am yours
[x2]

Love came down and rescued me
Love came down and set me free
I am yours
I am forever your's
Mountains high or valley low
I sing out and remind my soul
I am yours
I am forever yours
[x2]

Yeah, i am yours, i'm yours, i am yours
Jesus i am yours

He Give's Me Peace

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." John 14:27

    Last Summer our family went through one of life's "little" storms. We were in it before we had even realized it. You know the tale of the frog in luke-warm water and how it keeps heating up, but it's so gradual the frog didn't notice till it was too late. Well that's pretty much how it happened with us. When it all hit us we were able to look back and see that it had been building.

    You're probably super curious what happened, I know I would be if I was reading this so lets jump into last Summer.....  

    The big stuff all started in early July, that's when my husband started to lose mobility of his right leg. It was the weirdest thing, he just couldn't straighten it out all the way. He limped everywhere and me being the super sensitive and caring wife that I am ;) told him....well for starters to get himself to the doctors....but that he shouldn't let his leg control him, it's probably a muscle issue or something and if he doesn't start trying to straighten it there will be bigger issues coming. Boy was I wrong.

    So, he did start going to the docs.....and yes that came out right, he went a lot. They were having a very hard time figuring out what was wrong. Meanwhile, N8(my hubby), was getting worse....less movement in his leg, losing weight(a lot!!!), missing work(also a lot!), not sleeping well, fevers and chills....just a whole bunch of crazy things, so at one of his appointments the doc was so concerned he called an ambulance to take N8 into a bigger hospital. Once there, it was discovered that my hubby had an abscess in his hip area and that is what was keeping his leg from full movement. So they put a drain in it. Thus began the next three months of major storm-age because you see, that wasn't the issue, it was just a part of it.

    I'm gonna condense all the craziness for you because this could be long but the next three months looked sorta like this....N8 was off work for all of it(thank goodness for a good disability package), 3 separate stays in the hospital, a few trips into the emerge for incredible back pain, Lot's of drugs(and good ones), doctors scratching heads, seeing a specialist from the States, having surgery to remove part of his bowels, having a drain in his abscess the whole time....it was a CRAZY time let me tell you.

    But, and boy do I love buts, we had some great times together in that storm. Some amazing times in fact, I would have to say I look back upon that time and I am thankful. You guys probably think I'm crazy for saying that but how often in life do you get 3 and a half months together as a family. And the craziest thing is I never got sick of N8 being around all the time...in fact I loved it. Even now I can't say that. If he is home sick for a couple days I am like, get better and go back to work you are driving me nuts, but God blessed our little family with the best time ever. The Joy and Peace and Love that surrounded and engulfed us was absolutely incredible.

    The God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.....the God of me, my husband......and you is so perfect in everything that he does. He truly carried us through a storm, that in the eyes of the would was big but, through his eyes was so small. That is why when I look back at our Summer I am so grateful for every moment because we spent it so close to our heavenly father and he brought us through unscathed.

    So, I can testify to this, if you are going through a really rough time......a storm.....please, please let God carry you through it. I'm not saying you wont cry or feel pain or be worn out but those moments will be just that, moments. For me I remember those "moments" and they were few and far between. Our God is bigger, our God is stronger.....
   

   In the end my husband was diagnosed with crones and what had happened was a hole had formed in his intestine and that was what caused the abscess. He takes some pills everyday(the lowest form of the many treatments out there) and has appointments with a specialist, I think, every 6 months. We have also changed a lot of our eating habits and it's been really good. Eating more natural, trying to stay away from anything processed(can be hard). But life is a gift, and a precious one, so enjoy ever moment of it......the good and the bad!
Xo, TinaMarie

A Life Laid Down

I thought this journey began only a few months ago, but a conversation earlier showed me that this was something that began some time ago.  It started with a book called The God Chasers by Tommy Tenney.   It spoke of being ruined for The Lord, about laying down your life...dying to the flesh.  A portion that spoke loudly to me from the book was:  The more death that God smells, the closer He can come.  As well as: When more of our flesh dies, more of our spirit lives. 

I remember sitting on a plane flying from Melbourne to Sydney, Australia with my sister.  And as she slept beside me I read about how I needed to die.  I didn't get it, it sounded scary.  In fact, I remember thinking, this sounds waaaaaaaaaaaay to difficult and way to out of my comfort zone and I am not going to do this. Just as I declined this invitation to journey deeper and become more raw than I'd ever been in my life, horrible turbulence began.  Gods way of shaking things up and letting me know something?  Maybe, at least, I remember thinking it seemed like God trying to tell me something.  Little did I know this was just the beginning of an adventure I was going to be taken on.  

Sometime after I read that book I asked God a very weird(to some maybe) question.   God, I want you to gut me.  Now, I know that word seems a little over the top, but it's the word that came to mind.  I pictured myself laying on a surgeons table as he carefully took out the parts of me that were not needed and no good.  I told God I wanted to be opened up and everything that wasn't of Him, anything that was of me, of this world, well...I wanted it taken out of me.  I wanted to be completely emptied so I could be fully and wholly filled with Him. 

It came at a cost.  That cost was my life. 

Matthew 16:24-26 says:  Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever
loses his life for my sake will find it.  For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what shall a man give in return for his soul?

and

John 3:30 says: He must increase, but I must decrease

I had to be willing to lay it all down at His feet.  Be willing to open old wounds, call out inner vows and ask forgiveness from iniquities I had buried deep.

It was and has been uncomfortable.  I'm not going to lie.  It's not a process that was or has been fun and it definitely brought more tears than I'd have liked to shed. 

You see.  When you ask God to show you those dark, hidden, shackled up, broken, wretched places of yourself...He will.  He is faithful like that ;)

I wanted more times than not to just stop this cleansing, this gutting of myself.  This emptying of all I had boxed up and shoved away for no one to see, not even myself.  I didn't want to remember the scars and I definitely didn't want to re-open them.  But God gave me people to encourage me along the way, or I'd read His Word, or hear a song and I'd remind myself that all that I was truly losing was doubt, fear, anxiety, hurt, bitterness, jealousy, anger, resentment, un-fruitful thoughts and really was that worth being upset about?  NOPE!!!

I've had to confront people, I've had to re-live moments I'd had rather not.  In fact there were times after I asked God to show me more areas of my life that I needed to rid myself(internally and externally) of, I wish I hadn't opened my big mouth.  But it's been a process that has been refining me.  It's made me see more clearly who my Father is.  What He wants for me, what His promises are and that no matter what, He loves me and won't ever give up on me.  

I'm still being "gutted" and it is getting easier.  I'm learning so much about myself, about my Father.  I've become more aware of the areas in my life that I need to take out and move on from.  I've realized that though the laying down of life can be difficult, the reward is so very much worth it.   I'm beginning to hear my Fathers heart.  I see the woman I can be through His eyes.  I see only the life laid before me that is full of dreams, hope, love, peace, joy freedom and a steady stream of faithfulness to carry me through the storms that may lay ahead. 

Laying down your life, allowing God to gut you, empty you out, is not always going to be an easy thing to do. But the end result is a life that is built upon a firm foundation.  It is a life that is filled with thanksgiving and peace, a life that in the midst of the emptying, you hear your Father's voice whisper...you can do it...I am here, I will never leave you or forsake you. 

My prayer for you all, whatever stage you are at in life.  Is that you will allow God to heal and remove any pieces of yourself that you may be clinging to that are not of Him.   That you'd allow Him to refine, mold and transform your life.  It is a story(of your life) that has a most beautiful ending.   

Love always,

Christy Creative Dreamer Dawn

 I love this song: