If I Was Six.

If I was six again I'd tell myself, "Charlene, be quick to forgive, learn to let go, never start drinking coffee, grasp the power of words, dance freely and frequently, ask why, and always keep child like faith."

Six year olds have voiced some of the most profound concepts to me. Such as, there is power in Jesus' name. I kneeled at her bed and she instructed that we needed to pray in Jesus’ name. Ari went on to boldly pray for an assortment of items and each time stating with such power, "in Jesus' name we pray!" To my surprise, she ended the prayer with, "in Jesus' name we pray that Charlene is completely healed! Amen."

I left her room and cried. How did a six year old know one of the deepest desires of my heart?

Another six year old, brought in a hand crafted poster with glitter and in bright neon markers were the written words, "Daddy I love you, Daddy I miss you, Daddy I just want you home." A simple plea and she gently rested the poster at her daddy's unresponsive body.

As her father's nurse, I wept. How did a six year old know one of the deepest desires of my heart?

And then there was an eager six year old, which ran and wrapped her arms tightly around my neck. As she whispered in my ear, "love is all you need, Charlene. I love you! Do you know that?"

I got up and spun her around in the air, as I cried once again. How did a six year old know one of the deepest desires of my heart?

I once was six.  A rather joyous and creative six year old who loved asking the question why?

Etched in my memory is my grandfather mumbling in between tears, "something has happened to your daddy." I responded, "what happened?" Nothing could prepare any six year old for such words, "we don't know if you'll see your dad again."

I ran into the house and crawled into my bed, as I pleaded with God. I yelled with such might, "HEAL my daddy!" Again and again, I yelled and than screamed my final childhood why question, "why my daddy God?"

My dad sustained a life alternating head injury and the years past, as a result my why question was always left unanswered. I became bitter towards the concept of healing. Furthermore, the classic reassuring Christian lines would generate such anger and resentment. Ironically, I was often told that it was God's will that my dad wasn't completely healed. Hence, I'd like to know where in the Bible it says that? As a result, I'd bluntly ask, isn't it God's very nature to heal? The response was always sheer silence.

Matthew 9:22 states, "take heart, daughter, your faith has healed you."  Healing requires faith.  Mark 9:23 clearly outlines, " everything is possible for him who believes." Did I loose my child like faith? Furthermore, did I actually believe in the possibility of healing?

The years unraveled and ironically in my mid-twenties I impatiently awaited the results. The specialist entered and sternly stated, "Charlene, you are officially on seizure precautions. As a result, you are unsafe to drive and your driver's license is no longer valid."

I wept like a child, as if someone had just stolen my peanut butter and banana sandwich. Suddenly, I was robbed of my health.

Why God?

Months passed and woven in those months were appointments, tests, assessments, and endless hours of waiting and praying. My prayer was rather repetitive and simple, "please heal my body, Oh God."

I recognized the power of child like faith.

Almost eight months later, the specialist said, "you are the one and nine that cannot be officially diagnosed. You've frequently said the word, humbling. But today, you are seizure free!"

Do I believe in healing?

Yes.

Do I know why my dad and countless others were not healed?

No.

But, I know without doubt that it's God's very nature to heal. I believe in the power of Jesus' name. For all things are possible when we ask God (Ephesians 3:20), even healing. Because on that bright spring morning, I wept ugly six year old crocodile tears!  I was healed, completely healed!

Charlene

P.S. Take time to listen to the words of this song, "Healer" by Kari Jobe.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5vIH67lYRGo