Beauty and Starbucks Collide.

So, here I am sitting in Starbucks and reading “The Way I See It #83” upon my white paper cup.  I scan the words of Tiana Tozer, which states, “they told you that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. What they failed to tell you is that it is best seen with the eyes closed. What you look like isn’t important. What is important is who you are inside and the choices you are making in your life.”

Ironically, I can’t help but scan the table of those that sip their Starbucks lattes with me.  He sits slightly sunken in his chair. His mother is dying and only has a year to live.  Her eyes are blurry and distant. She is fighting the hangover from last night and the battle of alcoholism is consuming her.  He sits without any reaction. His addiction to porn is causing him to remove any form of emotion.  Her face is smiling ever so brightly with a ridged gap. Her teeth hide the hurt from the countless sexual and physical beatings by her own father.

I close my eyes…

Ironically, I can’t help but deeply inhale and consider the evidence of hurt that creates such beauty.  Truthfully, he may be watching his mother die, yet he is spending quality time with the one person he finds truly beautiful.  One day it will be his wife, but today it is mother.  She may be damaging her liver, yet she is aware of the choices and her willingness to change is a part of the beautiful victory.  One day she will inspire others to change, but today it is simply for herself. He may be ashamed and pride grips him, yet he voiced such beautiful words, “I want to be free.” One day he will be completely free, but today those five words speak of such beauty.  She may fear men, yet her courageous presence is captivating. One day she will smile ever so brightly without any fear, but today she is a reminder that beauty isn’t just what you see.

I open my eyes…

Ironically, I can’t help but smile.  For God created beauty in the very beginning. He expresses in Genesis 1: 31 that "he saw all that he had made, and it was VERY good." Beauty is a piece of God’s goodness, which sadly has been tainted by sin. As a result, I close my eyes again and see how Jesus beautifully restored the intended goodness of creation upon the cross.

In the completion of this Easter season, I am choosing to see the beauty that is often hidden. So, with my eyes closed I see TRUE beauty and it is breathtaking, captivating, and inspiring! 

In awe of God’s restoration of beauty,

Charlene

P.S. For “we delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty” (Mary Angelou).

Silent Restoration.

Recently, we were asked to speak on restoration in the Edmonton Federal prison.

I took my final steps through security, nearing "outside freedom" as phrased by the inmates, and pondered the simple fact that we are NOT different.

From a factual standpoint:

• We both are human
• We both want restoration
• We both desire to be found worthy
• We both have a past
• We both have hopes and dreams
• We both long to be loved
• We both yearn for healing

She picked a machete.

I picked restoration.

She got prison.

I got freedom.

And here she is asking with tears in her eyes, "how?" She pauses and continues, "how can I restore what is broken?"

Isn't it everyone's deepest desire for restoration? Regardless of the type, we yearn for restoration in our lives.

Truthfully, I didn't grasp the value of restoration until I considered that I never truly fought for it before. Suddenly, I was faced with a choice. A machete wasn't what I decided. Initially, I chose to run. I flew home and I escaped the greatest heartache that I've ever experienced.

Naturally, you probably would too…

Restoration isn't our first choice. Because who wants to fail restoration?  Who wants to attempt restoration when the other person has deeply hurt and lied to you? Furthermore, who wants to seek restoration when it seems impossible?

Ironically, I did. I didn't have a machete. No, I had a small piece of hope. And might I add, a miniature piece of hope. It was that glimmer of hope that initiated my steps onto the airplane. It was that fraction of hope that enabled me to surrender my engagement ring. It was that ounce of hope that granted me the ability to respond with love and not hate. It was that sliver of hope that reminded me to not give up. Oh how I wanted too, as multiple times I considered accepting defeat. Yet, hope stirred me to keep seeking the possibility of restoration. It was silent, not the restoration I anticipated or expected, but a beautiful form of restoration not often spoken of.

Silent... 

Silent...

Silent...

In the silence, I discovered freedom and the value of restoration as the purest form of love. For "where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom" (2 Corinthians 3:17).  Furthermore, I was "called to be free [to be restored]. But do not use your freedom [restoration] to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love" (Galatians 5:13).

Hope for restoration brought me back to Alberta. I'd love to say, I've witnessed complete relational restoration with my ex-fiancé and it's mended perfectly. But, that isn't accurate.  Restoration is complex. It exhibits a variety of layers and woven with pieces of unknown in the abyss of time. Instead, my relationship to him remains silently restored.

I flew over the Rocky Mountains and I promised myself that I wasn’t returning for romantic love, rather for restoration. In that choice, I received the greatest gift: God's restoration.

• He restored my worth
• He restored my ability to love
• He restored my dreams
• He restored my capacity to trust
• He restored pieces of life that I didn't even knew required his restoration!

The relationship I thought required such restoration wasn’t actually what needed restoration. Instead, it was my relationship with God.

Do you need relational restoration?

Or do you need God’s restoration?

We are the same...

She may be an inmate doing time, yet just like me she is a young woman with hope for restoration.

Because we all desperately need to be freed by God’s restoration!

With a heart for restoration,
Charlene

Letting Go

God will do the very best for you. So let go.

We were on a retreat this past weekend and below you will find a testimony from each of us girls sharing something we let go.

I let go of my idea of how to worship and I'm moving into God's. My beautiful girls spoke this and more into me on Saturday night when we took some time to minister to one another. It was amazing, overwhelming and inspiring. What power our God has.... 

Xo TinaMarie

 I let go of the past.  The past me, imperfect notions, and relationships that God wants to change.  I know I need to place not only myself and my future into God's hands, but those I love too.  Life, truth, and love were spoken into me, by women I cherish so very dearly.  I believe God is raising me up to be a mighty warrior princess...an Esther, a Joan of arc, a Pocahontas.  The holy spirit shook things up...The old has gone, new has come.

Love, Christy Creative Dreamer Wild Crazy Spirit Dawn

I let go of silent restoration. Huh?

[It's a blog that's currently being written and shall be posted later].

I've released an area of my life that I've wrestled with and even cried over, as I've asked God why?  I am free of the expectations that I had to have such restoration and I leave it as silent.

Because God knows the deepest desire of my heart. Tina reminded me,"Charlene, only the BEST! Your Heavenly Father is sorry that you've endured such pain, yet he has the BEST."

As the saying states, "the best is yet to come!" And I couldn't agree more!
Believing for the best, Charlene

     I am letting go of the need to protect my heart from the one who created my heart. Some of my most hidden and secret desires have been just that…hidden and secret. I quit asking God for the desires of my heart, I quit even acknowledging these desires to myself. The answer “wait” caused too much pain, and not asking seemed to make the possibility of unfulfilled desires easier to deal with. But this weekend my dear girls spoke restored hope over my life. Therefore I will hope in the Lord and leave my desires at his feet, and as I wait I will seek the very best, my saviour himself.

                                                  Love,
                                                     Your friend who has hope dwelling in her heart,
                                                   Ashley

Palms Down. 

 With the girls all hugging me and tears streaming down my face, God said, "Let Go."   

Surrender is a act of "palms down". 

When you surrender with your palms down, you cannot re-pick up that which you surrender. It is impossible.  I thought I had surrender to God the deepest areas of my heart, but this weekend I realized I was trying to control certain areas of my life. Why? because I was trying to protect myself from getting hurt again or experiencing disappointment in regards to relationships.  I was listening to the voices of others and lies of the enemy instead of holding on to God's promises and trusting that He truly has the greatest in store for me.  So, with palms down, I "let go" and decided to "let God" have full control over the deepest areas of my heart. 

Freedom comes when we let go and let God take over. 

 What are you holding on to? 

Living the Other Way, 

xoxox Chantelle