Silent Restoration.

Recently, we were asked to speak on restoration in the Edmonton Federal prison.

I took my final steps through security, nearing "outside freedom" as phrased by the inmates, and pondered the simple fact that we are NOT different.

From a factual standpoint:

• We both are human
• We both want restoration
• We both desire to be found worthy
• We both have a past
• We both have hopes and dreams
• We both long to be loved
• We both yearn for healing

She picked a machete.

I picked restoration.

She got prison.

I got freedom.

And here she is asking with tears in her eyes, "how?" She pauses and continues, "how can I restore what is broken?"

Isn't it everyone's deepest desire for restoration? Regardless of the type, we yearn for restoration in our lives.

Truthfully, I didn't grasp the value of restoration until I considered that I never truly fought for it before. Suddenly, I was faced with a choice. A machete wasn't what I decided. Initially, I chose to run. I flew home and I escaped the greatest heartache that I've ever experienced.

Naturally, you probably would too…

Restoration isn't our first choice. Because who wants to fail restoration?  Who wants to attempt restoration when the other person has deeply hurt and lied to you? Furthermore, who wants to seek restoration when it seems impossible?

Ironically, I did. I didn't have a machete. No, I had a small piece of hope. And might I add, a miniature piece of hope. It was that glimmer of hope that initiated my steps onto the airplane. It was that fraction of hope that enabled me to surrender my engagement ring. It was that ounce of hope that granted me the ability to respond with love and not hate. It was that sliver of hope that reminded me to not give up. Oh how I wanted too, as multiple times I considered accepting defeat. Yet, hope stirred me to keep seeking the possibility of restoration. It was silent, not the restoration I anticipated or expected, but a beautiful form of restoration not often spoken of.

Silent... 

Silent...

Silent...

In the silence, I discovered freedom and the value of restoration as the purest form of love. For "where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom" (2 Corinthians 3:17).  Furthermore, I was "called to be free [to be restored]. But do not use your freedom [restoration] to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love" (Galatians 5:13).

Hope for restoration brought me back to Alberta. I'd love to say, I've witnessed complete relational restoration with my ex-fiancé and it's mended perfectly. But, that isn't accurate.  Restoration is complex. It exhibits a variety of layers and woven with pieces of unknown in the abyss of time. Instead, my relationship to him remains silently restored.

I flew over the Rocky Mountains and I promised myself that I wasn’t returning for romantic love, rather for restoration. In that choice, I received the greatest gift: God's restoration.

• He restored my worth
• He restored my ability to love
• He restored my dreams
• He restored my capacity to trust
• He restored pieces of life that I didn't even knew required his restoration!

The relationship I thought required such restoration wasn’t actually what needed restoration. Instead, it was my relationship with God.

Do you need relational restoration?

Or do you need God’s restoration?

We are the same...

She may be an inmate doing time, yet just like me she is a young woman with hope for restoration.

Because we all desperately need to be freed by God’s restoration!

With a heart for restoration,
Charlene