Life's Defining Situations

             

LIFE: By definition is “the ability to grow and change, that separates plants and animals from things like water and rocks, it is the period of time when a person is alive” (Merriam-Webster, 2013). Life is a state of being, it is one breath after another, one foot in front of the other.

This definition however does not capture the process of living. The experiences that we as humans face every day that characterize our lives. The experiences that define us, challenge us, change us, and sometimes even break us. You see, life is characterized by experiences, interactions and challenges. Without these experiences there is no life, maybe there is physical life, but not emotional, spiritual and mental life. Good experiences bring us joy. Experiences like a marriage, the birth of a child, admission into college, or a new job  or promotion. When we experience these joyous occasions, we love to share them, to allow our joy and excitement, our hope for the future to be evident. We often make big announcements, host parties to celebrate and give gifts as a token of our shared happiness.

But what about the hard experiences, the ones that challenge who we are to the core of our being, the ones that threaten to break our spirit. Often as humans we hide these experiences deep inside of us. We create walls to protect us, so that others won’t see or know the truth of who we are, or the reality of what we are feeling. We sometimes separate ourselves from the people who loves us most, sometimes for reasons we don’t understand, and in doing so nurture the pain and loneliness inside. We all have these experiences in one form or another. They may be the loss of a loved one, an invading illness in your life or the life of someone you care about, depression or thoughts of suicide, a break-up or separation from someone you love.

For me, my pivotal defining experience was almost three years ago. I had been married to the most amazing man for 6 years, and life up until that point had been great…easy even. But the summer of 2010 things changed drastically. Life brought upon my husband and me situations and circumstances one after the other that shook us to the core. My most devastating experience was the moment I walked into the ICU and saw my husband, one of the strongest men I knew, looking almost lifeless in bed, a machine breathing for him, and tubes and lines everywhere. I felt utterly broken and alone. These experiences, when added all together rocked my faith, the way I defined who I was, and what purpose I thought I had. In an effort to deal with all  that I was feeling, and in an attempt to hide all my insecurities, I began to separate myself physically and emotionally from many people…friends and family who all loved me and longed to share my hurt and sorrows. I even began to separate myself from God.

There is so much I could share about my journey to healing. And I will, one day. But as I think back and remember those days, now almost three years later, I can identify so many life lessons that I learned that summer, the ways I changed and grew. The biggest lesson I learned, and the one that I am the most thankful for is that God never gives up on me. No matter the situation or circumstance, or the pain and doubt in my heart, God is and always will be faithful. God understands pain and loss. 1 John 4: 9-10 says “this is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love; not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins”. God watched his most loved and totally perfect son be tortured, suffer and die for a sinful human race. God didn’t watch because he was powerless to change Jesus’ circumstances, but because he loves you and me, completely and wholly.  Jesus’ sacrifice was the only way that I could be reconciled with God and have the reality of eternity with him. If God did all that for me, he is not going to give up on me when the going gets tough. Deuteronomy 31:6 says “be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; He will NEVER LEAVE YOU NOR FORSAKE YOU” (NIV). Even when I didn’t understand, and even when I doubted God’s faithfulness, God was always beside me, loving me.

The second lesson I learned is never to forsake the fellowship of the church body, your  friends or your family. God has placed each and every one of them in your life for a purpose. My journey to healing happened because of people that God placed in my path who took time to be Jesus’ love to me. Through conversations shared, times of prayer, gifts delivered to the hospital or meals brought to our house. God loved me and my husband through others. And it was this love that was instrumental in rebuilding the broken pieces of my heart. The love of my family and friends also dispelled the lies that the enemy wanted me to believe. Lies that I was alone, that God didn’t care about me or my circumstances. How? Because my friends and family spoke God’s truth over my life, and where truth is, there can be no lie.

And one more valuable lesson that I have learned is that life will never fail to challenge me. Otherwise life wouldn’t be coined with the phrase “life is a journey”. Even now, at this moment as I write I am being challenged. I still have days when I struggle with God’s goodness, his calling on my life, if my faith is really bigger than my fears, and whether I can really trust God. But my reality is that no matter my circumstance God is the healer of every situation whether physical, emotional, mental or spiritual. My verse today is Psalm 147:3 “He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds”. I want to challenge you today that no matter your circumstances, no matter what you are facing God loves you, has ALWAYS loved you and will ALWAYS love you. Even when he feels far away, he isn’t. He promised that he would never leave you or forsake you. So my challenge to you is to take every opportunity to talk to God, if he feels distant, talk anyway. God is no quitter. Remember, He isn’t going to give up when the going gets tough.

Loving you through Christ,

Ashley

 

This song "Love Came Down" by Brian Johnson is the song that I listened to over and over and over again as I lay on my cot beside my husband's hospital bed at night. I would pray that God would cause the words of this song to sink into and permeate my heart even when I couldn't feel him, and even when the truth of the words seemed hard to believe. Now today, I can sing these words from the deep places of my heart having seen God's faithfulness to me, and having had God walk beside me through the broken circumstances of my life. I can truly say today that God is my rescuer.